


Habit

by mysleepyhead



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Tiny bit of Angst, Very fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysleepyhead/pseuds/mysleepyhead
Summary: Sherlock went back to one of his old habits..





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a ficlet I wrote on tumblr to lift up my mood. :)

The first time Sherlock mouthed ‘I love you’ to John, he didn’t intend to.

When he followed the army doctor in their shared flat after one exciting chase, both giggling breathlessly at the utter stupidity of the evening’s incident, looking at the smiling radiant face of John, Sherlock couldn’t help it.

It was his sheer luck that John didn’t hear.

 

How embarrassing it would have been.

 

 

 

The night when John left the flat to spend the night at Sarah’s, after a heated argument with Sherlock.

And Sherlock stood at the window watching him go away. Noticing how john shivered because of the chilly London weather and lack of cloth.

You hot headed little man.

 

That’s the second time Sherlock said it.

‘I love you.’

 

A whisper this time.

 

Because there was no way John would hear it.

 

 

 

The third time he was almost sure he said it out loud. But he didn’t.

 

When Irene drugged him. Hit him mercilessly.

And then John was tucking him in bed. With his warm gentle hands.

 

 

‘I love you.’ Sherlock said groggily.

 

John mistook it for mumbling of his drugged state.

 

Sherlock was relieved when the drug wore of and he realized John didn’t listen.

 

 

 

 

Then it became almost a habit.

 

Mouthing I love you when John couldn’t hear or see.

 

And Sherlock started keeping track.

 

 

How many times he wanted to say ‘I love you’ in the phone from the rooftop of Bart’s ?

He almost said it.

Almost.

 

 

 

It may have been the thousandth time when Sherlock intended to write ‘I love you ‘ to John.

And he erased.

John knew he was dead. Dead man can’t love.

 

 

 

He was so ready to confess when he came back.

 

Too late. Too late for a confession. Too late for correction.

 

Too late to say ‘I love you.’

 

 

 

When you know you are going to a suicide mission. And it is the last time you would be able to say anything to the love of your life.

What do people do?

 

They say it.

 

Sherlock deduced that he is a coward. Because he couldn’t.

 

 

 

The a lot of things happened.

 

The east wind blew over everything.

 

 

 

Every obstacle gone. Leaving just the two of them against the rest of the world.

Sherlock already got rid of his habit. Because he deduced that no way John is gonna say it back.

 

 

 

So after the first night both of them ended up in Sherlock’s bed. John nuzzled in Sherlock’s hair and mumbled “I love you.”, Sherlock froze.

He couldn’t say it back.

 

 

 

When after a sweaty evening , John rained kisses on his face, muttering ‘I love you repeatedly, Sherlock kissed back.

 

But couldn’t say it back.

His habit had died.

 

 

 

_What does John think of me._

_He thinks I am so selfish._

 

 

 

 

Two month anniversary of them being a couple.

Sherlock decided.

 

 

He entwined his hand with John’s in front of the fireplace. It was snowing outside.

 

“I love you.” Sherlock said in one breath.

 

“I love you too.” John replied immediately.

 

“I thought you will never say that back.” John was amused and happy. His eyes twinkled.

Sherlock chuckled. Painfully.

 

 

“This is exactly the one thousand eight hundred ninety fifth time I am saying this John… But it is the first time you heard it.”

 

“Then say it again. Don’t get stuck at one place. I wanna hear it again.” John walked closer. His face few inches away.

 

“I love you John… I love you.. I love you.. I love you…”

 

 

John silenced him with a kiss.

 

 

The whole street was silent. Only the fireplace was making crackling noises. The only noise except that was the lovers’ breaths and kisses.

 

 

“I love you.” Sherlock said again when they parted.

 

“I love you too Sherlock. But don’t overwhelm yourself.” John chuckled.

 

“It is a bit overwhelming when old habit relapses. You should know that John. You are a doctor.” Sherlock smiled.

 

“And I am very happy that your old habit is back.”

 

“That’s not a doctor-like thing to say Dr. Watson.”

 

“Who cares?”

 

 

 

Sherlock just smiled in return and leaned in for another kiss.

 

 

 

_Some habits are just worth it._

 

_\--x--_

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at [tumblr](http://love-in-mind-palace.tumblr.com)  
> 


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